May 21, 2009

Gingrich: Pelosi Not Good Enough Liar to be Speaker -- by Andy Borowitz
Offers Congresswoman Lying Lessons
Former Speaker of the House Newt Gingrich lashed out today at the current Speaker, Nancy Pelosi, calling the congresswoman unfit to be Speaker of the House "because she's not a good enough liar."
Mr. Gingrich, in an appearance on ABC's "Good Morning America," said that the ability to lie seamlessly is the most important qualification for the job of Speaker, adding, "I've been in the job and I should know."
The former Speaker issued the following ultimatum to Rep. Pelosi: "She needs to get better at lying, or step down."
Mr. Gingrich offered a brutal, blow-by-blow criticism of the House Speaker's lying technique, which he said consists of "pauses, ums and uhs, stuttering - all the hallmarks of an amateur."
In contrast, he said, "When I was in her chair my lying was as smooth as a baby's bottom."
He added that if Rep. Pelosi is serious about remaining in her position, he would be "more than willing" to give her lying lessons.
"Being a good liar requires practice," Mr. Gingrich said. "Fortunately for me, I had years of practice lying to my many wives."
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Newt missed a bit, though. He forgot to mention hypocrisy.
Maybe he has conveniently forgotten the fact that he did exactly what Pelosi is doing nowto the FBI—while he was Speaker. Or the fact that, while he was calling for the impeachment of Clinton, he was having an affair with one of his aides.
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8 comments:

Dusty said...

Newt is an asshat of mythic stature. When is that moron going to finally get out of the friggin limelight?

I really will enjoy harping on his lies and omissions if he becomes the new Boss of the Party Of No.

Newtie needs a real job. He hasn't had one since he was drummed out of Congress.

two crows said...

hey, Dusty--
Rachel had an interesting take on him the other night. she said, though he keeps threatening to run for prez, he never will. that he's just trying to keep the dems guessing but will never do it.

hope she's right.
acourse, if he ever did, all anyone would have to do would be to mention cell phones to have him running for the door.

Dusty said...

I never miss Rachel!

I did like her take on Newtie ;)I think he has way too much baggage to actually run, don't you?

two crows said...

hi, Dusty--
oh, yeah.
what with cell phones, having an affair with an aide, his contract on America [what a fiasco that has turned out to be!] and I'm sure there's plenty I don't know about but the pundits would-- he won't dare run.

so let him sit down and shut up for gods' sakes!

libhom said...

I almost got fooled by the Borowitz snark. His stuff is a bit too close to reality.

two crows said...

libhom--
hee hee!
once I sent one of his pieces out in an email. a friend passed it on thinking it was true. I had to tell her that no-- it wasn't.

he does cut awfully close to the bone, sometimes.

libhom said...

two crows: LOL, Borowitz gets people doing that a lot. Truth being stranger than fiction is so common that it takes a lot of concentration to sort things out.

two crows said...

hey libhom--
hee hee!
I've been known to open an email without noting the source and do a double-take before realizing it's Andy, myself.