August 2, 2009

So Long

I’m feeling defeated today. I just can’t seem to gear up for another post. I think PP&D is history.

I kept my sanity and my spirits up all during the Bush years by believing that, when actual leadership returned to this country, people would rejoice. They would recognize the fact that crimes had been committed and welcome the return of a lawful administration. They would be happy to be accepted back among the civilized nations our country had alienated for eight years.

Obviously, I was mistaken.

I’ve been cruising the newspapers and a forum I visit and I can’t believe what I’m reading.
People write, “Why do liberals hate so much?” and in the same post, “Blue Cross Blue Shield is good enough for me. Why should my taxes pay for health care for all those illegals and those commie-pinko liberals anyway?”
And call Obama “Obammie the Commie—the teleprompter junkie.” Just as if every president since its invention hasn’t used the teleprompter.

When I hear Pat Buchannan trash Affirmative Action and declare that the US was built by White men who are being discriminated against after all their hard work, I want to sit down and cry. The US was built by White men? Really? Didn’t Pat work in the White House? Who built it? Slaves. Most of the monuments and public buildings in DC were, in fact, built by slave labor. Guess what color they were?
The railroads in this country were built almost exclusively by Chinese immigrants who were treated like slaves, themselves.

And whose schools are crumbling? The inner city schools which are attended by, primarily, Black and Hispanic students. I used to visit those schools every day when I worked with poor children. How does anyone come out of that environment with hope? How does anyone live in the projects and attend a school that is falling down and ‘learn’ from a teacher who uses improper grammar and mispronounces ‘Scheherazade’ and not feel like a second-class citizen who deserves nothing?

Then, when I hear of a Harvard professor being arrested in his own home because he is Black, I throw in the towel. There is no hope for my species.

And Pat says White men are being discriminated against.

It’s hard to keep trying to be a voice of reason in the face of ignorance, hate and bigotry.

Furthermore, I just keep hearing about massive partisanship. Partisanship. Partisanship.
The Republicans say, “Slow down,” when they mean, “Let’s drag our feet and hope the health care bill succumbs to our lies.” “Let’s fight against rebuilding the economy.” “Let’s let the Birthers run riot and refuse to admit Obama’s an American.” “Let’s let the country spiral out of control in the hopes of reclaiming all three houses over the course of the next four years. After all, THAT’S what’s important—not the well being of the country!”

AND—last night I saw a documentary on Bill Moyers' Journal about the good that can be done by religious leaders who work for positive change. And I cried because “religion” in my country seems to just want to grab power. It seems interested only in exclusion, separation and destruction. Not love.

I’ll keep posting at All That Is, I know that. It’s a happier blog—and it doesn’t require me to read newspapers in order to keep it going. That’s a huge plus, right now.

I know that emotions don’t last forever—they just feel as if they will. But this feels pretty overwhelming, right now. If things change maybe I’ll be back.

Or, maybe not.

10 comments:

Ramonas Voices said...

Well, now I've heard everything. You are QUITTING? This from the person who is always there making me feel as if what we're doing is totally worth it?

You CANNOT!! You are having a bad day, or maybe a bad week, or maybe a bad month--but what you have to say and how you say it is important. You are needed in this cause. You get over to TPM right NOW and read what people are saying about bloggers keeping this thing going. We're fighting for our lives here, and you can't QUIT!

So there. . .

Have a nice day.

two crows said...

hi, Ramona--
thanks for the sweet upbraid. =)
I don't know. I just don't know anymore.

racists calling Sotomayor racist. only one rethug voting for her.

Buchannan saying only white males built this country and that they're the poor little victims now.

people gazing starry-eyed at Palin.

and, when even Ann Coulter says the birthers are crazy, they're still shouting for the impeachment of Obama.

I don't know, Ramona. just writing this short-short list, I envisioned vomiting into my mouth.

I saw the thing at TPM just after I posted this and felt ashamed. but still---

maybe I'll get over it. but I did sit on this post for over a week waiting to see if I'd feel better. not yet.

Ramonas Voices said...

All of those reasons are the very reasons you need to keep on writing. Vomit if you must but get over it.

Here's a thought. How about looking in the upper right corner of your blog? You've framed some words by Bill Moyer there. Now read them and then read them again and then read them again.

And vomit if you must but get over it.

two crows said...

who knows? I'll probably see some documentary or read some article and feel moved to write again.

right now, though, I'm pretty burned out. I need some time off. maybe I'll be back.

Ramonas Voices said...

So you're serious then. In that case I wish you well. Your blog spurred me on when I first started. I loved your courage and your commitment. But I understand burn-out.

Take your time but know that I'll be waiting impatiently for more words from you.

two crows said...

wow, Ramona-- just wow, that's all.

who knew I was such an inspiration?
ok. I'll work really hard to get over the schmuck and get back here.

meanwhile, I sent you a coupla thangs I've been using to fight it off. see what you think of my remedies?

LeftLeaningLady said...

two crows, how can you leave when I have just found you? I know it is hard, believe me. I think that is why my blogging is down, it isn't that I have nothing to say but that there is so much I don't know where to start!

Take a break, a little PP&D vacation. But come back, the truth needs to be spread and you do a great job of spreading it.

two crows said...

thanks for the talk, LLL.
what's so hard, these days, is the fact that it just feels like no matter what I do it'll make no difference whatsoever.

that's always been true, of course. but, it seems like the more Obama tries to fix things, the more crazies come crawling out from under their rocks.

I'll try to get back here -- I really will. but, right now, I can't stand to read a newspaper or even a blog entry that has anything to do with politics.

I was completely apolitical till W came along. then, I jumped in with both feet. this is burn-out. maybe I'll get past it. I hope I can.

maybe I'll resurrect Scattershot Thoughts. and I know I'll keep posting at All that Is. That blog has started suffering from my political writer's block even tho it has nothing to do with politics.

do check back and I really will try to get past this.
and thanks for caring.

Dave Dubya said...

I went two months with only a single post each. It's OK. It's your blog. You are not under contract or deadline. It's fine to want to just live your life for a while. We write because we need to. Sometimes we don't need to.

But we eventually return. We are freedom fighters, even in our limited way. There is no freedom without free thought.

If we don't do it, no one else will do it for us.

two crows said...

thanx Dave--
it helps to know that there are others who take vacations and come back. most of the bloggers I visit seem to be so energetic. they post more often than I do already, lately.

it does feel good to get affirmation that it doesn't have to be all or nothing.