February 4, 2007

From the Desk of an Unperson

I AM moving to Florida—I really am. In about 2 weeks, I’m shaking the dust of Kansas City from my sandals—probably never to return.

So, two weeks ago, I phoned my home insurance company and spoke to the agent I’ve been dealing with for 22 years about the logistics of the move. We discussed several options. I’ve chosen to sever my relationship with the company and see what happens after I get to Florida.
After all—I’m going to rent my home until G.W. is 1] removed from office or 2] elected out of office or 3] declares Marshall Law and appoints himself Dictator For Life. Whatever happens in Washington will determine what I do next—like whether I’ll live in Florida or Mexico.

So, today I got a letter from my insurance agent. On his letterhead. With his photo. I would wager he knew the letters were going out. Or, at least, his computer knew. The letter assumed I’m going to keep the home insurance and asked me to add car insurance—just like the other 6 letters I’ve received [and ignored] every year for the last 22 years.

I received this letter two weeks after Clint [my agent—I know HIS name] told me he would change my status in his computer.

Uh-huh. I’m an unperson.
Don’t you just love living in the US?

8 comments:

Obrien said...

Dear Miniluv Supporter, We have posted a new video at YouTube which tells the story behind our project. Please visit http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=uOq5yHDkQgY Thanks, O'Brien

Women on the Verge said...

You mean he didn't adress you as Dear #267-07-56973 ????? I'm getting gypped!

TomCat said...

Good show, O'Brien.

TC, don't you know that it requires an act of Congress, followed by an act of God to get off an insurance company mailing list? Also, in light of last week's weather, are you SURE you want to move to central FL?

two crows said...

lol, TC--
haven't you lived in Tornado Alley?
I'm still here--after 52 years of it.

seems to me, living anywhere in the US is a game of Russian roulette: mudslides and earthquakes to the west, tornadoes, floods, the madras fault--not to mention Yellowstone--in the midwest, hurricanes in the south and east. Pick your hazard---

and isn't there some volcano or other up there in your neck of the woods??? :)

two crows said...

and, hey #267-07-56973 good to see you!
I've got this great homeowner's policy for you. you don't even need to own your home to qualify!
phone 555-1023.
:D

TomCat said...

Mt. St. Helens is far enough away that even during the big one, all we got in Portland was a dusting of ash. I spent over $50 in postage sending my online (BBS in those days) friend samples of Genuine Mt. St. Helens ash, collected from my front walk with a broom and dust pan. We had an earthquake in the 1990s. Otherwise, from a disaster perspective it's boring here. We do have a an active volcano, Mt. Evans right in town, though.

two crows said...

see?
pick your hazard.

I'll take a tropical climate with the occasional hurricane/tornado risk--at least until Bush appoints himself dictator--then I'll move to a retirement community in Mexico. have already been researching em online.

Women on the Verge said...

I'd say we're all living in a potential disaster zone with a capital "D" until we get Captain Queeg & Co. out of their Pennsylvania Ave digs...

E